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The Weather Takes a Shart
By Andy | February 26, 2007
I ran a very long way last night to try to escape the doom from above. It fell in sheets, rocks, hamsters, and/or pirate ships. There was nothing I could do to escape. Either that or it just snowed a lot, and by a lot I mean a metric lot. Strange things, well stranger than usual, have happened to my brain after being stuck in my apartment for 36 straight hours, like when the assorted chicken parts in my fridge didn’t move at all, and several bottles of beer emptied themselves straight into my mouth. Crazy, I know. Now for something completely different: Bicycle Racing.
I know a guy who knows a guy who met a guy once who won 50 bucks and a rear fender from a ‘68 chevy by beating him in a 500 mile bicycle race. They really wanted to go from the north pole to the south pole but with the ice caps melting and the polar bears getting hungry they only made it about 100 miles off the north pole before the loser fell into the water and was eaten simultaneously by bears, seals, and a shark. Animals waste nothing in their quest for nutrition, even the bike was consumed on the way down by the giant polar land seahorses. The winner made it another 50 miles before, inexplicably, he was beaten to death by penguins who were simply asking for directions. Oh those wacky translation mistakes! They never found his body (bears got there first, AGAIN) so they buried the fender and the 50 bucks in his grave. The moral of this story? Car fenders are not media of exchange.
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